You know, the part of me that cares for you want you to have many friends. But another part of me that cares for you don’t want you to have so many friends.

“Ah, she’s going through a hard time. Maybe I should cheer her up.”

Then later:

“No, look at all those damn friends she’s got! Hundreds of nominal ones on Facebook, tagging people left, right and center. She knows everybody at her residence, being always active there. Each time I walk her there, she greets tonnes of people. She doesn’t need me.”

Do you know how much it bothered me a while ago how everyone has got so many friends, while I’m mostly stuck on my own? I got two or three great ones at home, but not here. Yet I’ve seen what people like you do. You have all those friends, yet when the shit hits the fan it seems as though I’m one of those few whom you actually rely on.

Why do people do this? Everybody seems so friendly and outgoing, yet eventually I always find them to be lonelier than I.

This happened before: someone with so many friends asking me for my help when things get difficult. I’m not prideful. Like I said, to a degree I’m glad they have so many. Yet why do you come to me? Can’t any of your hundreds of friends help you? Why me?


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