Today I’m gonna talk a bit about Michael (not his true name). Michael is a slightly short guy, but well built. He has blue eyes, neat blond hair and he wears glasses. In school he used to read a lot of novels, such as Percy Jackson, and he liked to play cheap games on the tablet. After school he went to stay with his grandmother while he worked first as a waiter and then afterward as a type of clerk. This is my superficial description of him.
In school he was a bit bullied emotionally. Our school didn’t really have the normal beat-em-up kind of bullies as almost all of the boys knew each other and respected each other. Yet it seems that some guys never truly respected him. They made jokes which were a bit too mean in my opinion. I wasn’t his closest friend, but I considered him my closest friend after my two best friends. There was my two best friends, a semi-best friend, Michael, two or three other dudes, then the rest. However we had a lot of classes together so we talked a lot and during exams he would come over to my house where we would play Civilization 5.
During that time I gathered that his family was slightly disconnected. His mother was a bit too harsh on him. The fact that he slacked off at his schoolwork didn’t help.
I saw a guy who was misunderstood and disrespected.
After school, as I’ve said, he moved in with his grandmother as his parents wanted him to pay rent. Understandable but harsh. His grandmother isn’t much better. She treats him as a bit of a child and they always have a bit of attention. When he came to sleep over, she would talk me as though she is leaving him in my care. I mean come on, he was 19 already. Keep in mind that he could not afford a car, so he was totally depended on her. She wasn’t all bad; she would drop him off at the mall or my house or whatever. She was just a tad bit too controlling.
During this time I noticed a disturbing characteristic of him: he is always looking for love. This would be okay if he wasn’t constantly befriending schoolgirls from our previous school on Facebook. If he wasn’t always messaging them and trying to get in a relationship with them. To make it worse, it’s not like they were only 18 while he was 19 – I can to an extent understand that – but rather 16 or 17. That’s a bit young. I mean they are still in the school life: homework, sport, exams, parties, etc.
Last year he had one girlfriend which he met once in person after which they hooked up… but only on whatsapp. They never saw each other except for that one instance where she visited him while he was in hospital. When he came over he would often be messaging her as we chatted (?) or played a game. At times he would even call her and set her on speaker phone. I noticed how he was often being a bit domineering and guilt-tripping her. He would be like “Oh so that’s how it is” or “Sorry I couldn’t do that” and she would fall for it. He also tried to do the same with me, accusing me of never making time to chat with him. Saying things like “Yes we could’ve if you invited me” and stuff like that. To an extent a valid criticisms, but I saw through this controlling urge of his.
In this time he talked about plans for the next year; about how he would like to go to university. But at the end nothing happened.
This year he improved a little a bit. He discovered… on Facebook… another school girl whom he started to date. But at least this time they often met in person, so I was happy for him. Needless to say they also broke up after a while.
At one time he invited me go to a cinema with him and four or five school female friends. Initially I said yes, but then I thought: I’m a twenty year old dude studying at varsity and now I want to go watch a movie with a bunch of 17 year olds? A bit creepy? So I dropped that.
He also talked about how his dad, whom he refereed to as his “sperm-donor dad” or something similar, just showed up in his life and offered to finance his education if he lived with him. All in all I’d say he doesn’t have the perfect family.
And here I end. I have this awful trait of just simply forgetting about people. I can only focus on two or three special people at a time and by the time that I had more… time… we hadn’t spoken in months. And here we are. Writing this just made me remember his current state and actually made me miss him, especially as I think I was his best friend – I’m an awful man. I hope all is well with him.
Every now and then I still see him adding new schoolgirls as “friends”…