Today our dominee’s wife (a dominee is the South African term for pastor) came to our house to evaluate it as she is a real estate agent. She came during the day while my mother was at work (I’m at home because the idiots at varsity want to burn my place down).
Thereafter she came at around 7 o’clock to tell us about our house. Everything went smoothly, but after she finished she started talking with my mother about how both I and her son was born with a cleft palate. They talked about the extent of it, how the birth was, the operations, the grommits, the bloody defects and every damn thing accompanying it. She then concluded about how it makes us a bit different in that it builds a very strong character.
I flippen hate it when people start talking about this. You know that feeling when suddenly you are just quiet, just listening, while your body turns cold. Not as a result of a particular emotional feeling you have against it, but rather (I think), as a result of the emotional stress you went through your entire life which they are discussing. It’s like you have this one suppressed feeling about, let’s say, being bullied at school. Then one time when you’re grown up a bunch of friends are talking about it. Not you necessarily, just in general (though in my case they were specific about me). It is that feeling of “Just shut up I need to get out get away leave me alone” kind of feeling.
While they talked about the ear operations with grommits I could physically feel my ear paining.
That this conversation was preceded by our plans for next year, when I’m going to adopt to a new room at my residence, and the near future where I am likely to take a step backwards in staying with my mother and sister again – both things which I am stressing about – is not helping.