It is almost 11PM and I should get some sleep. I should have studied today, but I wasted time on nonsense. I should have at least read a bit of my apologetics books, but I barely did. I should have started with this assignment ages ago, but my procrastination laziness got the better of me. I should be on top of it, because I should help two friends who need my help with it, they need me. Tomorrow I should read a boring 70 page piece of nonsense for this assignment, but I doubt I will do even that. Next week I should hand in this assignment, my part of a group assignment, a religious studies assignment, and two small other assignments. I should be doing a lot of things.

I really should send two of my friends a message (I haven’t spoken with them in days), but over here my mind retreats into the Bubble of Self.

I really should get a life and stop my thoughts from drifting to a certain girl. I know myself by now: I cannot go a few weeks without getting interested in someone. I really should get over myself, get over her and get over my insecurities.

I believe that this is God weighing all of this on my heart. To whom much is given, much will be required. He has given me more time than most. A better intellect and understanding than most, so I really… should… honor Him by at least using this privilege.

Yet at times it feels as though I’m the only one thinking about my obligations – constantly, while other people just always wing their tests,wing their friendships and wing their faith.

I should really stop overthinking all of this, but it is impossible. If I didn’t, where would I be?


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