How long must I pray to You?

How long must I wait for You?

How long till I see Your face, see you shining through?

I’m on my knees

Begging You to notice me

Hold My Heart ~ Tenth Avenue North

I’ve just realised something. I believe I’ve lived under the illusion that I should always improve. I think of that verse where Christ says “Be ye therefore perfect” as a commandment to try to be perfect, even though we cannot be perfect.

But tonight I had a different thought. Perhaps the current one is true, but I really need to consider this one. Maybe were are already made perfect in Christ and that improving myself was just stitching pieces of garments to my torn clothes. Maybe, after all, I’ve been trying to improve my old self instead of fighting it.

Just today (or was it yesterday?) I’ve read the verse where Jesus talked about new wine in old bottles and new patches on old clothes and I could not understand what He meant by that. But perhaps I do now.

I’m a new creation, a pure, holy being in His sight. As Paul said, there are two people within me fighting for control. The things I want to do I do not and the things I don’t want to do, I do.

But I’ve gone slightly off topic here. I meant to write about being in God’s presence.

You see the majority of my time is spent, in some sense, away from God. I would do my work, always fight to do the right and pleasing thing for God and I would learn about him and all that stuff.

Yet every now and then I would just realise how distant I have been. That I should just open my soul and talk to Him.

Why is this so difficult? I’m sure I’m going to go sleep in a short while and then wake up again. Or rather, I’m not going to awake. Why can’t I stay awake?

Why can’t I stay in His presence?

If You’re everything You say You are

Would You come down

And hold my heart?



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