Listening to: Con Te Partiro – Andrea Bocelli
Should be doing: Politics
Thinking about: What I’m thinking about
There are three dreams I’ve dreamt so far that are peculiar, some more than others. I’m writing them more so I don’t forget them somewhere in the future.
They concern an operation, a cat, and Jesus. Let’s start with the operation.
I have a vague feeling that I’ve shared this before on this blog, but if I had I’m gonna do it again. Why? Because it’s my blog and I decide what goes. So, my operation.
In grade 6, when I was 12, (or was it grade 7?) I dreamt a peculiar dream. In my dream I was standing in a small room. I knew it was the bathroom of a hospital. to my right was a wall. To my left was darkness (I didn’t know what was there). In front my was a sink and on top of it a mirror. Behind me was the door.
I was crying. Sobbing. I knew I was going to go for an operation and I cried and prayed to God to help me. Then I turned around and opened the door. When I opened it, I saw a kind of light. I’m not sure if I saw a hand which held the light. I mean a light as in that which a lightbulb makes. The light itself. Not the source of it.
When I saw it, I fell on my right side and I woke up. Because it was such an odd dream I didn’t forget it.
A year or two later I was going for an operation. Not that big when I think back. They had to remove a lot of teeth. Nonetheless I stressed a lot.
I went into the bathroom before the operation. It was a small room. To my left was a bath, to my right a wall, behind me the door, in front of me a sink and on top of it a mirror. I prayed and cried and as I looked up to the mirror, I remembered my dream.
I still do not know how the part of the light and me feeling fits into anything. Perhaps it has no meaning.
Now for my second dream, about my cat, Leo. I was really attached to him. Then one day, about two years ago, when I was away my mother called to say he was run over. I was devastated and I never had any closure.
Here’s a photo of him on my lap:
Then a while later, it could be days or weeks, I dreamt. In my dream I held him for one last time. In my dream I thanked God constantly for giving me one last moment with him. As I’m writing this tears are coming to my eyes. I really needed that moment.
Now for the last dream which I had a day ago. This year I’ve been struggling to get to know God. I see these people at my Christian fellowship, especially one friend whom I’ll call the Godly Friend, who is so totally absorbed by Christ. Every action and everything he says is from Christ and he is so deep into the Word. He’s also human and he admits he often makes mistakes, but he so… true.
If you’re not a Christian, keep in mind the following. Everything is constantly about love. About Christ’s love for us, the church, and God’s love for the world. We are supposed to love God with all our heart, soul and mind (Matthew 22: 37). Yet I never thought of this in romantic way.
In my dream I was lying on grass. To my right were two men who also laid on the grass, but one of them talked with the other one in an intensely passionately, romantic way. I knew in my dream that the one who talked was Christ. I’m not sure about the other one. It was either the Godly Friend, or representative of the Church. It could really be both.
I remembered how I so badly wanted to be in such a relationship with Jesus as that person. It’s odd. If it was the Godly Friend, then maybe God was trying to show me what exactly he had that I didn’t. An intense, romantic, love. If that person represented the Church then I’m afraid, since then it would mean that I’m not a part of it. Or at the very least I’m missing something.
However, I’m not quick to reach conclusions. Keep the following verse in mind:
For thus saith the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel; Let not your prophets and your diviners, that be in the midst of you, deceive you, neither hearken to your dreams which ye cause to be dreamed.
So perhaps I caused this dream on myself? I don’t know. But I can’t help but feel that there’s more to this dream than I’d like.