(Friendly piece of advice, reading all of my previous posts will make this one much more interesting)

So this Friday I had a sleepover at my “best” friend’s house. I haven’t seen him in months and for a while things between us haven’t been that good. I don’t want to elaborate too much on the problems, since I don’t want this post to bee TOO negative, I’ll nonetheless give a brief story on this before I share what happened this weekend.

The first semester everything went good. I saw him regularly and in June (in the holidays) I saw him on my birthday and my friends birthday and we played online numerous times while we chatted through the mic.

In this second semester I tried three times to see him. Each week for three weeks I’d try to organise a sleepover, at his house or mine. He never could because he was always busy. I honestly respect it, cause I “knew” he wouldn’t say no if he wasn’t. But I also knew that I’m gonna get busy myself in the coming weeks, so I want to see him while I can. But anyway he couldn’t.

Then came the dark time in my life, as you can see in my first post. I was really messed up, especially as a result of The Girl and also in a large degree as a result of my other best friend because of his treatment of her. I would complain about how I feel about them with this friend and, with good reason, he started getting irritated at me for how I’m constantly whining about them. I can honestly see how it could work on your nerves. This was worsened by the fact that I didn’t know (but he did) that my other friend, the one with The Girl, was going through a dark time himself so me constantly complaining about him only made it worse.

However he still didn’t realise just to what extent I was breaking down. For the first time in my life I needed my friends. I didn’t say it, but I NEEDED to see my friends. Especially him.

So I was getting irritated. I don’t know if I shared this before, but what made me snap was when I heard one weekend that, while I was feeling lonely at home, he, my other friend and The Girl were hanging out together. My bests friends and the girl I’m in love with. MY best friends. I live so close and I constantly think about those three, but then they hang out together at a home literally two minutes away from mine and going to the mall without me. I mean screw me, right? I only wanted to see him, my best friend, for three F*cking weeks in a row. And this one week I didn’t try to organise something, he did this.

This is what made me decide to stay the next weekend at my flat. I mean why the hell go home in the hope of seeing my friends when there are people in Pretoria (where I stay during the week) who wants to see me. And I could study for my Politics semester test in peace. What happened that next weekend is explained in my first post, so I guess everything thus far is kind of a prequel to all that I’ve posted on this blog.

I didn’t intend to talk so much about this. I want to talk about a braai (a barbeque in South Africa) which we had this weekend. All I’ve said thus far was only necessary to describe how I feel about this friend.

So I was SO excited for this weekend. I was going to sleep over at my best friend whom I haven’t seen in ages and the next day he’s going to have a braai where not only my other best friend is going to come, but also a semi-best friend (more on him later) and three awesome school friends from last year as well. Please see read my post “Missing my friends” to understand just how I much I wanted to see those three. Besides these he invited his crush, his crush’s friend (who I had a crush on for a year or two on school) and his ex. Why his ex? I don’t know.

I though only I was going to sleep over, but my other best friend and my semi-best friend from school slept over as well. This semi-best friend was like a best friend at school, but he never really opened up.

Another flashback: Last year at the beginning for most of the year I was pretty alone. The best friend who was with The Girl this year recently rarely saw me because he was either depressed or with his girlfriend at that stage, and the best friend of the braai pushed me away. Now we were always close. We were best friends for 7 years. He started to want the semi-best friend to walk with him to places. If I said I’ll come with them he’ll simply tell me to stay. Most of the time he would just meet up with him and not me. Later on he got a girlfriend and I saw him even less.

Nevertheless by the end of the year everything went good again. He broke up with his girlfriend and we started to see each other again and everything went back to normal. My depressed friend also broke up and he was doing fine. Now the one who pushed me away told me that he only did it because of his girlfriend. I didn’t say anything about how I noticed he did it even before they fell in love. I just dropped it.

Back to the braai.

We had an awesome night. Watched movie trailers, played games, played ping-pong and we played Risk (the board game) until almost 6 in the morning. Me and the real friend (I need to distinguish him from the braai friend) decided to go to sleep, while the other two stayed awake through the night. My real friend needed to get some sleep because he needed to get up and I decided it would simply be wise to get some sleep.

So the next day things went smooth, until around breakfast. We decided to eat at the mall. I noticed again how the braai friend kept making a distinction between me and the real friend. The previous night and that morning he would constantly talk about how they, he and the semi-friend, would do this or that. I mean what the hell? Where am I going? Am I just gonna sit around at his house or something? So I decided to stick with my real friend.

Later the day, long after everyone arrived, he and the semi-friend became excruciatingly tired. After all, they haven’t slept in 36 hours. The braai was still on. So me, the real friend and one of the three friends, I’ll call him the cool friend, braai-d outside while the rest sat in the braai friend’s room. Now from outside you can directly look into the room. It’s literally only two meters away from where we stood.

I remarked to the two how the braai friend acted like a kind of alpha-male. He sat there slightly irritated because of his tiredness while he talked with the other 5 people. He eventually quickly came out, scolded us for leaving the door open, and went back in. Later he came out again and said we should put more coals on the fire, and returned again. We didn’t. We were done with our food. Screw this.

I mean think about his. Me and the real friend are (?) his BEST FRIENDS. We’ve been together for 6 years. We did everything together. We knew each other. Now he firstly acts condescendingly, like the alpha-male checking in to ensure our submission, and secondly he much prefered the company of the others while leaving us outside. I honestly don’t care that much. I’m not overly sensitive. I don’t mind if it’s simply me, the real friend and the cool friend outside discussing stuff. It’s his attitude that bothered me.

I remarked to the real friend how the semi-friend is now his best friend. We are no longer.

In conclusion, after reading ALL of my previous posts you can see this braai as a kind of climax of short. Or anti-climax rather. The real friend is my best friend even though he is the one which unwittingly caused so much pain to me the last few weeks (here and here), yet I think our friendship is now as good as ever. The one I thought to be my best friend (here and here) once again pushed me away like last year and the friends from school whom I’ve wanted to see so desperately (here), I got to see and I’m really glad I did. They are as awesome as always.

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3 thoughts on “The Braai – A conclusion and background to everything so far

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